Entertainment Jokes

Ek bar do pagal, pagal-khane se bhaag jaate hain.

Cinema hall me chappal utaar ke baith jaate hain.

Dharmendra ka dialouge aata hai "bhag jao kutto kamino" toh woh pagal bhaag jaate hain.

Phir woh thodi der baad wapis aate hain

Dharmendre ka dialouge aata hai "ab kya lene aye ho kutto kamino "

Woh dono pagal kehte "Chapla lene aaye hain"

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Shohar Biwi se: Ye kya tum ek aur suit le ayi? Abi parso hi to..
Biwi chilla kar boli: kya kaha?!!
Kya parso?
Bolo
Kya kha tumne?
Kya parso, parso kya, bolo jaldi!!
Batao kya parso?

Shohar: kuch nai, mai bas ye keh rha tha ke
parso bhi ek hi suit layi thi, aaj 2 le aati.

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Doctor: AP ke 3 Dant kaise toot gaye?
Patient: Ji Wo Biwi ne Karak Roti banai thi.
Doctor: Toh Aap Khane se inkaar kar dete.
Patient: Ji Wo hi toh kiya tha.

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Larki: I love u
Larka: Main bhi tum se I love u kahun to kya karogi?
Larki: Khushi se mar jaungi
Larka: Ja meri behan JEE LE apni zindagi.....

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abhi kuchh din pehle ki baat hai, dewta aur netao ne mil kar ek baithak ki kaun is sansaar me sabse bada hai, to dewtao me sabse pehle ganga ji boli ki main sabse badi hoon, kyonki main duniya ke logo ka paap dhoti hoon, our ,kumbh ke mele me 36 karor log ganga me snaan karte hai, is liye main sabke paapo ko dhoti hoon, is liye main badi hoon, waha par baithe shiv shankar se raha nahi gayaa , woh bole tum kaise badi ho, tum to hamari jata me padi ho, is liye main sabse bada hoon, fir parvat raj himalaya bol pade tum kaise bade ho, tum to hamari gufa me pade ho, is liye main sabse bada hoon, fir kehana kya tha, anjani putra hanuman bol pare tum kahan bade ho tum to hamari hatheli par pade ho, is liye main sabase bada hoon, fir bhagwan ram ko bolna hi thaa ki tum kaise bade ho tum to mere charno me pade, ho, is liye main sabse bada hoon, wahan khare do netao ko gussa aayaa our bol pade tum kaise bade tum to hamare lafde me pade ho, is liye main sabse bada hoon.

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Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon. 
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1) Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could
you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

2)Laloos family planning policy-
'Don't have more than two children in one year'.

3)At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says,"JACK DANIELS,SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

4)A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
LALOO BOLA "Marriage".

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Lady to Punjab Police Inspector: Ji mera pati 5 din pehla gobhi len gaya si ajey tak wapis nahi aaya.

Punjab Police Inspector: Taa fer koi hor sabji bana lao.