The Best Gift.

No moving parts, no batteries,
No monthly payments and no fees,
Inflation proof, non taxable,
In fact, it's quite relax able;
It can't be stolen, won't pollute,
One size fits all, do not dilute.
It uses little energy,
But yields results enormously,
Relieves your tension and your stress,
Invigorates your happiness;
Combats depression, makes you beam,
And elevates your self-esteem.
Your circulation it corrects
Without unpleasant side effects.
It is, I think, the perfect drug,
May I prescribe, my friend...... the hug

Always For You

Main Tumse Bichad Kar Nahin Faryaad Karoon Ga
Bhool Jaao Ke Main Tumhein Yaad Karoon Ga

Iss Shehar-e-Be- wafa Mein Wafa Ki Qadar Kahan
Abb Jaa Ke Main Sehraon Ko Aabaad Karoon Ga

Gar Dil Ke Taaluq Say Hai Inkaar Woh Karta
Main Rooh Ke Rishtey Say Bhi Aazaad Karoon Ga

Shayad Khushi Sakoon Mein Rahat Na Mili Ho
Gham Dey Ke Apney Dil Ko Main Abb Shaad Karoon Ga

Dil Bhi Udaas Reh Ke Abb Ukta Sa Gaya Hai
Abb To Naya Hi Shughal Main Ijaad Karoon Ga

Hai Maira Zarf Teri Wafa Say Kahin Barrh Kar
Aey Be-wafa Tujhey Main Kyun Barbaad Karoon Ga

Tu Bhi Bichad Gaya Haaye! Dil Bhi Udaas Hai
Kis Say Bayaan Apni Main Roodad KaroonGa

Laughing time !!

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
***
Ek ladki apny boy friend k sath nai car main long drive par ja rahi thi achanak ladki kehnay lagi, “suno ! kya tum ek haath se garri chala saktay ho ?”
“Kyun nahi” ,ladkay ne baday fakher se kaha.
Ladki ne aahista se kaha, “to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo.”
***
Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.
***
Raat ko sohar aur biwi soo rahe they. Ek dam se biwi ko sohar ki awaaz aayi, biwi uth kar sohar se poocha, “kya baat hai?”
Sohar ne bataaya, “ke meri kameez zameen par gir pari thi”
Biwi ne kaha ke, “toh itna shor kyun machaya”
Sohar bola, “ke uss kameez mein main bhi tha!!!”
***
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Banta : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?
***
Banta at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Banta says - "Baljith Singh Married"
 ***
Prince Charles & Banta were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Banta thinks "how poetic"
Babta says, "pass the custard you bastard".
***
Rina : I see all time a sign board near a school “ drive slow ur car “
But at the place of any girls college it’s never seen
Vipul : every one know that each and every car pass slowly automatic.
***
I saw an advertisement for a school that claimed it could teach anyone to drive a car in five minutes or less. I called them up and asked "How can you teach anyone to drive in five minutes or less?"
They answered "It's a crash course."
***
A MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE. SUDDENLY YAMARAJ APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS."

HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED.


ON THE WAY TO HEAVEN IS THE HELL....SAW YAMARAJ WHISTLING N RELAXING. HE ASKED YAMRAJ, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME.





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"SORRY SON, Appraisal time, HAD TO ACHIEVE TARGET..."
***
Railway me job hai...

karoge ?

salary 35,0000


per month

job details :

Rajdhani exp ki head light karab ho gayi hai torch lekar aage aage bhagna hai.
  ***

The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file. After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath. The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.
The clerk replies, \'Boss when I went to the lift it said \'during an emergency please use the staircase\'!!! 
***

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.

White Satin Across The Midnight Sky

Midnight sun above a summer's sky
A crying angel lost in the night
With just one look she took my hands
Heaven opened time and time again
All my life
All alone
Eyes to the ground and back against the sun
Take me back to that night
The crying angel like white satin across the midnight sky
Lingering heart on the sands
Watching the tides where it all began
Apparition like a feather from the midnight sky
My arms opened with tears in my eyes

Come With Me

Come away and ride with me
That star we once wished on
Into the sunrise come for us
And into our morning's dawn.

Come let the winds now carry us;
Let fire streak the sky
With blazing passions from our hearts
And the love 'twixt you and I.

Come with me and take the moon
That with our love we light.
Come with me and be my love;
Come join my soul tonight.

Come with me forever dear
To an end no time destroys.
Come with me and be my love,
My heart and soul and joys.

Hopes Of Dreams

From the oceans,
I see colors...
As bright as love
As glory as hope
From the glance
I see the mystics
Of trium days
Life, of days
how lucky would I?
If I linger both

Cherish the stars
Of twighlights
Singing songs
From my heart...
The speaks the truith
I soak gladness
I found you
Would it be forever
Shells of forms
Forming footprints

I see love as I?
To see hope...
For the oceans
Waves counters me
Waters fell on me
My tears shall through
If had truith with me
So, set me free
Set this feeling free
Honesty comes away

Comes away... bring me
From the past...as
Shadows of today,
I ll be free
Will I see lights
On the oceans floors?
Cover my sight
With emotions
I close the doors
Shall I be free?
Rest thy soul
Sleep tight thy
Heart... Peace
Love and Hope
I set myself free

I Had A Dream

I Had A Dream

0f love, lillies and daffodils
0f flowers, trees and will of the wisps
0f all things bright and beautiful
0f shinning stars

I Had A Dream

0f lovers leaping through fields of clover
0f unicorns dancing in the moonlight
0f drops of dew on a daisy
0f falling stars

I Had A Dream

0f butterflys fluttering their wings in the breeze
0f a honey bee
0f eagles soaring throught the sky
0f sunrise

I Had A Dream

0f you

Rang

Ek sirf tujhe apna maana tha hum ne,
KHUDA ki kasam KHUDA jaana tha humne,

Bhula baitha tha  apna sab kuch,
Sirf aur sirf tujhe jaana tha hum ne,

Gum kya hote hai yeh bhi yaad na tha,
Apne ko sirf tari banho main paaya tha humne,

Tanha samajte the jo hum khud ko hamesha,
Naam tera lake apne pe garrur kiya tha humne,

Bhula ke ki pyar ki jindgi do din ki hai,
Apne ko tujh pe mitaya tha hum ne,

Yaad tujhe jarur hoga wo jamana ae kaatil,
Apne ko katel kar ke, tujhe sajaya tha humne,

Aaj jee raha hai tu jo shaan ki jindgi,
Us jindgi ko lal rang diya tha humne,

Baitha hai aaj jo tu gair ki banho main,
Mat bhool ke wo jindgi bhi di hai humne,

Yaad ker wo waada kayamat ke din ka,
Tum bhool gaye lakin nibhaya hai humne,

Hum bhatak rahe hai aaj bhi tare milan ko,
Tum ne jammi ko to falak ko apnaya hai humne,

Tumne jammi ko to falak ko apnaya hai humne......

Ye Zindagi

Zindagi mujhko ab us dorahe par le aai hai,
Jaha har khushi maine mujse ruthi paai hai,

Thodi khushi ki or jo maine kadam badaye,
Kismat ne har us maud pe thokar khaai hai,

Duje hi pal unka khanjar sine se paar huaa,
Na koi kisika bandhu yanha na koi bhai hai,

Pyaar ke sahaare jo thodi kasti aage badai,
Lahare waha bhi bhanwar ban chali aai hai,

Geelaa gairon se bhi kya kartaa  jab,
Ye sab kuchh to mere Naseeb ki likhaai hai.

Pahchante hai

jinsey vakfiyat hey mujhko kaam sey pahchantey hain,
kuch ajnabi hain jo mujhko nam sey pahcantey hain,,

aagaj hey aag key dariya mey utarney jesa,
mohabat ko log bas anjaams ey pahchantey hain,,

ungliyan jo uthaee tumney mashoor ho gaye,
shahar mey tery mujhko iljaam sey pahchantey hain,,

jis vakat jiski talab ho bula letey hain,
apni aarzuon ko vo badey aaraam sey pahchantey hain,,

mahnga hona bamushkil milna parakh hey jamaney ki,
heerey ko bhi  uskey daam sey pahchantey hain,,,,,,,,,,

Teri Yaad Ki Khushboo

Shub thee aur maiN tanha
Aur hawa ka ik jhonka
Teri yaad ki Khushboo
Saath leker aaya tha

Mujh ko yuun laga jaise
Tou hai mere pahloo meN
Tere tun ki Khushboo se
Dil mahak uTha mera

Teri garm saNson se
Jism jal gaya mera
Kya tapish thee saansoN meN
Rooh tak jhulas uThThi

Such to bus yehee hai tou
Mujh se door hi kub tha
Jaan.o.dil men rahta hai
Door ho nahi sakta

Mere aansoo.oN men tou
Meree har Khushee meN tou
Tou hai mere khuwaaboN meN
aur tou hi khayaaloN meN

Mere dil meN basta hai
Door kaise jayega
Mujh se door raih ker bhi
Door raih na payega

Ladaki Deewani Hai

Uski Mohabbat Ki Bas Itni Si Kahani Hai..
Dard Main Doobi Hui Saari Zindgaani Hai..

Jalta Hai Zhakm Ban Ke Aakh Ka Aasoon...
Rooh Par Zafaaao Ki Gehri Nishaani Hai..

Saasein Hai Lekin ... Dil Dhadakta Nahi Hai..
Lahu Behta Hai Lekin..Nahi Koi Rawaani Hai...

Hai Dafan Kitne Raazo - o - Bayaan Seene Me Uske..
Sunaane Ko Phir Bhi Nahi.. Koi Kahaani Hai..

Main Roz Khuli Khidki se.. Use Aate-Jaate Dekhta Hu..
Hontho Pe Ab Uske Nahi ...Woh Khushaali Hai...

Kho Diyaa Jisne Ta-Umra Kaa Sukoon..
Muskuraati Hai Phir Bhi.. Ladki Dewaani Hai...
Ladki Dewaani Hai...

Do mutthi ret

Kis hawa ko aanchal me panah du ?
Jo khud tufan ban sab mitana chahti hai,
Kis lahar ka hath thamu ?
Jo khud mujhe samndar me baha le jana chahti hai,
Phir bhi panah di,hath thama
Bheege aanchal ko udati ret se sukhana chaha,
Wo hawa khud hi aanchal ko dafan kar gai,
Do mutthi ret uski kabr par dhar gai.

Agar kuchh naam dena ho

Agar kuchh naam daina ho
Mujhay insaan matt kehna
Judaa chehray, judaa bay-shak sabhi k naam hotay hain
Magar insaaniyat k abb yahan per daam hotay hain
Mere tum daam matt dainaa
Mujhay ye naam matt dainaa

Agarr kuchh naam dainaa ho
Mujhay Ehsaas keh dainaa
Magarr Thehro!
Mujhay Ehsaas matt kehnaa
Mera buss naam reh jaay
Mujhay aisay nahin rehnaa
Mujhay Ehsaas matt kehnaa

Agarr kuch naam dainaa ho
Mujhay Saawan hee keh daina
Magarr thehro!
Mujhay Saawan nahin kehna
Barastaa hai magar
Rut kay badaltay, beet jaata hai
Mujhay Saawan nahin kehna
Agar kuchh naam dainaa ho

Mujhay Aansoo hee keh daina
Janam laina kisi ki ki aankh mai'n
Rukhsaar per mernaa
Yehi jis ki haqeeqat hai
Chalo aansso hee keh dainaa
Magarr daikho!
kisi ki aankh main mujh ko kabhi

Aanay nahin dainaa
K qeemat aansoon ki abb adaa tum se nahin ho gee
Nahin tum yun nahin kehnaa
Mujhay aansoo nahin kehnaa
Mujhay aankhon mainn bastaa ik haseen sapna he keh daina
Haqeeqat kuchh nahin jis ki
Chalo sapnaa hee keh daina

Ke sapnay aankh main taaron ki tarhaa jhilmilaatay hain
Magarr thehro!
Mujhay sapnaa nahin kehnaa
Ke sapnay toot jaatay hain
Mujhay Apnaa Nahin Kehnaa
Ke Apnay Rooth jaatay hain

Ishq ka matlab

Uss nay Khat main
Ishq ka Matlab Pooch liya hai
Mein nay Likha hai
Jab Koi Chehra
Dhiyaan Mein Akar
Maan Angan mein Phool Khila day
Jab Koi Naam Labon ko Choo kar
Dharkano ki Tarteeb Bhula day
Jab koi Jazba Kar-e-Junoon se
Atish ko Gulzar bana day
Laikin Itna Dhiyaan mein Rakhna
Koi Siraat-e-Ishq se Guzry Tab Khulta hai
ISHQ se Pehlle ISHQ ka Matlab kab Khulta hai

Suna hai log use

Suna Hai Log Use, Aankh Bhar Ke Dekhte Hain,.
To Uske Shehar Mein Kuch Din Tehar ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Rabt Hai usko Kharaab Haalon Se,.
To Apne Aap Ko Barbaad Kar ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Dard Ki Gaahak Hai, Hai Chashm-e-Naaz Uski,.
So Hum Bhi Uski Gali Se Guzar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Usko Bhi Hai, Sher-o-Shayari Se Sharaf,.
So Hum Bhi Mauize Apne Hunar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Bole To Baaton Se Phool Jhardte Hain,.
ye Baat hai To Baat Kar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Raat Use Chaand Takta Rehta Hai,.
Sitaare Baam-e-Falak Se Utar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Din Ko Use Din Ko Titliyaan Sataati Hai,.
Suna Hai Raat Ko Jugnu Tehar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Uski Siyaa Chashmagi Qayamat Hai,.
To Usko Surma Farosh Aankh Bhar ke Dekhte Hain,.

Suna Hai Ke Uski Badan Ki Taraash Aisi hai,.
Ke Phool Apni Khabaayein Katar ke Dekhte Hain,.

Ruke To Gardeeshein Uska Tawaaf Karti Hain,.
Chale To Usko Zamaane Tehar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Kahaaniyaan Hi Sahi, Sab Khwaishein Hi Sahi,.
Agar Wo Khwaab Hai Taabeer Kar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Ab Uske Shehar Mein Tehra, To Kuch Karjaaye,.
Aao Sitaare Safar Ke Dekhte Hain,.

Hawale kar diya maut ke

Laga ke khud ke ghar ko aag,
Chal diya mai muh maud ke,

Na rakha kuch bhi apne pass,
Khudko hawale ker diya maut ke,

Sajaya tha jin khato ko lahu se,
Bana diya rakh, aaj khud jala ke,

Jin haatho ne kalam di thi hume,
Wo tod di, aaj khud ke hatho se,

Karke aitbaar ankh rakhi hamesha nam,
Sahe har sitam, sirf un ke naam se,

Mile jab hume wo ajnabi ke banho mai,
Tuta har khawab, jise joda tha dil se,

Nahi reh paayenge hum aleke tanha,
Issliye khud ko duboya khud ke lahu se,

Laga ke khud ke ghar ko aag,
Khudko hawale ker diya maut ke...............

The Secrets Of Una

Upon the wings of Beauty's flight,
Your eyes, your smile so set the night
And travel where such wonders soar
To ever touch my heart's implore.

In night time's light of moonbeams calling,
My heart and soul are ever calling
Into a moment's instance sought
Where lies your pleasing love so caught.

Beyong the morrows yet conceived,
Are dreams and hopes of you perceived
Whose beauty reaches my heart so clutched
From a night in passing where our souls once touched.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Dreams Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Television

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

If Tears Could Water

If tears could water the fields of life
And sadness were a song
I would cry for the gods to hear
And heaven won't keep you long

If love could cause the world to fall
And passion to raise the sea
I would kiss the clouds and close my eyes
And heaven would set you free

No goodbye nor one farewell
A sign to say you're gone
Before I knew it your soul was lost
But forever you'll be my one

Imagination

She's a dream girl,
A mermaid in my life.
She's have many thing
Which is difficult to define.
Her smile like an ankle bells,
When I saw her -
I recollect my childhood fairytale.
Her hair is a dark black cloud,
Her eyes are two fire flame,
Her voice shows the tune of baby,
She is so soft, like petals with snow,
She is one of the lovely girl, yes! I know.
Her walk is like a wave,
Her cheeks are two musical bells,
She's an enchantress charming girl,
Always brightening like a splendid pearl.
She's my dream, my love,
She is none but a cute little dove.

She's a dream girl, A mermaid in my life. She's have many thing Which is difficult to define. Her smile like an ankle bells, When I saw her - I recollect my childhood fairytale. Her hair is a dark black cloud, Her eyes are two fire flame, Her voice shows the tune of baby, She is so soft, like petals with snow, She is one of the lovely girl, yes! I know. Her walk is like a wave, Her cheeks are two musical bells, She's an enchantress charming girl, Always brightening like a splendid pearl. She's my dream, my love, She is none but a cute little dove.

haan main bhool
sakta hoon tumhain,

jab chand chamkna chod dey,
aur suraj ugna bhool jaye,,
yaa phoolon pey muskurahat na ho,
aur dharti ghoomna band kar dey,,

haan main bhool
sakta hoon tumhain,

jab phaad pani mey ghulney lagey,
aur barf mey aag lag jaye kabhi,
yaa samandar mey pani na rahey,
aur mom pighalna chod dey,,

haan main bhool
sakta hoon tumhain,

jab kayamat ka din ho,
aur toon deewar nafrat ki tod dey,
yaa sans lena bhool jaoon main,

Pyaar ko Paane vaala

woh mera yaar mere pyar ko paane vaala
woh chupke chupke mere khwaab mai aane vaala

zamaane bhar kay ghamo,n ko utaar kr khud mai
meri aankhon mai naee khushya,n sajane vaala

najaane kitnay hee toofaan mai lut kr tanha
woh nihatta mere aangan ko bachane vaala

woh apni siskiyon aaho,n ko bana kr naghma
mere kaano mai tarannum se sunane vaala

meri hee jeet mai krta thha musalsal mehnat
woh apne aap ko mujh hee say harane vaala

chaak kr kay mere seenay mere dil dharkan ko
woh meri ruh meri rag rag mai samane vaala

bare aaraam se soya hai kafan mai ahsan
mujhe dukh dard kay jeewan se jagane vaala

कि‍सी दि‍न

आज का दि‍न भी
ढल गया
फि‍र रात
गहराने लगी है
इसके बाद सुबह होगी
वह भी धीरे-धीरे
दोपहर, शाम और रात में
बदल जाएगी
इसी तरह
दि‍न पर दि‍न
कैलेण्‍डर पर तारीखें
बदलती रहेंगी
इन्‍हीं में से
कोई एक
मेरी अंति‍म तारीख होगी
और दीवार पर मैं
एक तस्‍वीर बनकर
टंग जाऊँगा
आगे की
सभी तारीखों के लि‍ए।

Milan ki raat

Aaj ki raat humey neend nahi aayegi,
Baato.n mei.n hi sarri raat gujar jayegi…

Dheere se denge jab wo dar pe dastak,
Saans meri seene mein thehar jayegi…

Utha denge jab wo rukh se naqaab mera
Chahre pe hayaa ki surkhi bikhar jayegi…

Unki baaho.n mei.n mil jayegi zannat hame
Kushi hi kushi hogi jidhar nazar jayegi…

Kaise beetygi wo milan ki raat
Yehi soch kar zindagi sanwar jayegi...

Khuli aankhon se khuwab dekha hai

khulli aankhon sey khuwab dekha hai
chehrae lajawab dekha hai

aaj piyale mai aab e zam zam ke
ek chhalkta sharaab dekha hai

ek sharm or haya ke parde mai
jaane kaisa shabab dekha hai

jaane kitne hi pattharon mai daba
aik heera nayab dekha hai

idhar udhar kya dekhte ho sanam
hum ne to bus janaab dekha hai

sudhar gaya hoon aaj ahsan mai
kya sudhurta nawaab dekha hai

Fantasy Poems

Little Angel 

 

There's an angel in my inbox
And she came here from a friend
Who typed in my e-mail address
Then clicked on the button 'Send'

There's an angel in your e-mail
And you got her straight from me;
I knew when I finished reading this,
It was something you should see.

This little angel in your inbox
Does contain a nice surprise;
For when you send her on to friends,
Her message multiplies.

She brings you a note of
Joy, happiness and song;
And the nicest thing you can do today
Is to forward her along.

Please send this little angel on,
And have a great day, too;
Just smile and be happy because
This angel was sent to you!

---

ONLY TO BE NOTHING

I WAS WALKING,
I SAW NOTHING,
I WANT ONE THING,
THAT IS THE ONLY THING

---

The Unending Dream

I'm lying in your arms
We are staring at the sky
I kiss your precious lips
Were gazing into each others eyes
I'm speaking small words
We whisper I love you
We are embracing each other
As we fall asleep in pure bliss
And as I wake I realize
I want to go back to sleep
Because it was only a dream
And I'd rather be with you there
Then without you in reality.
And I'm asking myself
Why Do dreams lie?
Maybe that's why they are just called
*~*Dreams*~*

---

Yester Night

Yester night in my dream
Draws you again and again,
I feel warm of fondness in your touch
And the time our love will begin.

In moonlight among mild breeze
Lightly touches my amorous body,
I feel a sweet pain in my inner core
And become congealed by cold freeze.

I wanna late night dream forever
Want to the sky fall overall me,
I lay my life in your hands
Wanna stop the moment and keep this feeling forever.

The way you love me
Shows the heat of passion,
The way you look at me
Conceal the sleeping emotion.

Everything I own I give
Rest of my life,
I know that love will bring
Happiness and lucid divine.

---

When I Become Your Wife

My joy is overflowing,
you got down on your knee
and have professed forever
your special love for me.
There was no hesitation,
the moment I said �yes,�
and gave life to the feelings
I�m longing to express.
I give myself completely,
my heart belongs to you;
I�m counting every moment
until we say 'I do'.
You are the perfect person
to compliment my life;
there�ll be no brighter day than
when I become your wife.

---

GLAZE

Someone shows my dream,
The dream that are true,
I feel closer to my heart,
Heart come closer to my soul,
I've trapped a butterfly and say-
Your life in the palm of my hand,
She smile with splendourous illumination of hope,
The hope that shows the dream,
The dream that are true.

I can see certain streets,
The streets tell the story of love,
I can hear certain sounds,
The sound murmuring the secret voice,
And perceive the fragrance of blossoms,
I lost in my words of words.
The words that shows the dream,
The dream that are true.

Why do I smoulder? why I am glaze?
What kind of fire is this - "I melt".
My body assailed by the smoke of love,
I do not stay with myself.
If the night is silent as lamp,
The tinkling chimes revive my sleeping emotion,
Love was born in the womb of my feelings,
The feelings that shows my dreams,
The dream that are true.

Surely I can hear some voices,
The winds is playing tricks,
If the pearl drope in stream,
It creats serene beam,
Now what name could be given to such a bond,
Life is a secret, a deep secret,
Walks silent footed in my life,
Is dream a thought?
Or a thought of a search?

 Aprons Of Silence

Many things I might have said today.
And I kept my mouth shut.
So many times I was asked
To come and say the same things
Everybody was saying, no end
To the yes-yes, yes-yes,
me-too, me-too.

The aprons of silence covered me.
A wire and hatch held my tongue.
I spit nails into an abyss and listened.
I shut off the gable of Jones, Johnson, Smith,
All whose names take pages in the city directory.

I fixed up a padded cell and lugged it around.
I locked myself in and nobody knew it.
Only the keeper and the kept in the hoosegow
Knew it--on the streets, in the post office,
On the cars, into the railroad station
Where the caller was calling, "All a-board,
All a-board for . . . Blaa-blaa . . . Blaa-blaa,
Blaa-blaa . . . and all points northwest . . .all a-board."
Here I took along my own hoosegow
And did business with my own thoughts.
Do you see? It must be the aprons of silence.


All a-board for . . . Blaa-blaa . . . Blaa-blaa,
Blaa-blaa . . . and all points northwest . . .all a-board."
Here I took along my own hoosegow
And did business with my own thoughts.
Do you see? It must be the aprons of silence.

---

Las Nubes.....

LAS NUBES NOS BANAN

La Lluvia
hovers over us
waiting.

As thunder
separates
into tiny pieces

bowling hail
dents hoods,
stones roofs.

Rain insists
down
into crevices.

A river
for
parched sidewalks.

This spanking
of reality
reminds us,

leaden clouds
wash us
with sky.

---

Born In The Year.........

Poem for the Year of the Buffalo

I was born in the year of the buffalo
A year that brings many troubles
A buffalo toils all year round
Works hard but never grumbles

When i was very small I walked
With my buffalo to the village fields
Green grass, high flying kites
Buffalo and I would day dream

There was so much wind
In the wide open fields
There was so much sun
Buffalos eyes would brim

Dont play music near a buffalos ear-
Please dont tell me that
If a buffalo looks, a buffalo knows
It doesnt need to hear

I left home a long time ago
But when spring comes I go back
There I meet the black buffalo
Still attentive, innocent

The buffalo eats grass all day
Spring offers up grass again
Thanks to heaven for watching over
The buffalos youth, that never ends.

---

Calico Pie

Calico Pie,
The little Birds fly
Down to the calico tree,
Their wings were blue,
And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
Till away they flew,-
And they never came back to me!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

Calico Jam,
The little Fish swam,
Over the syllabus sea,
He took off his hat,
To the Sole and Sprat,
And the Willeby-wat,-
But he never came back to me!
He never came back!
He never came back!
He never came back to me!

---

Whimsical Thoughts

Sometime it's hard for me
To tell you -
What I am thinking of?
It's not enough to give you,
Everything that you were dreaming of.
And it's not that I don't care,
But there's something I can't share.
I tried to find,
What was right?
When you standing so close to me,
I felt such electricity!
That make me so damn sure,
That you are the one,
Who has changed my life,
Just being a part of it.
And I never thought,
That love could came so easily.
Till you opened up my eyes.
To how it's supposed to be.
When I'm feeling all alone,
When my life gets crazy,
When I'm searching for someone
I can run to, the only one -
Who comforts me is 'you'.
And only god above
Could be the one,
To know exactly -
How I Feel!!

---

Saint And Philosopher

The bowl that floats on the ocean, can only the waters crown,
The sieve that tastes the waters, in the ocean will drown
The philosopher who describes love and truth is but an empty crown
The Saint who embraces truth and love will gladly drown.

A Life Of Dreams

A life of dreams to yet unfold.

Each passing day as we grow old.

We are but one, as we learn to walk Still,

very little as we start to talk.

By the age of five, to school we go,

To learn much more that we don't know.

As we hit ten, our world's the books;

Just turn the page and take a look...

The teenage years - every mother's fears.

The kids are growing; they feel "all knowing."

As young adults, the crave direction

Opposites meet to show affection.

Grown-ups now, they have their lives...

Mothers, fathers, husbands, wives,

As life goes on, we, too grow old.

Our teeth come out, our feet get cold.

Our hands they shake, as we try to hold That newborn baby -

that we've just told "A life of dreams to yet unfold."

MY NEW COMPUTER

We have bought a new computer
that's the fastest ever seen.
It has terabytes of memory
and a forty-eight inch screen.

It has all the latest gizmos
and accessories galore.
It has every last peripheral
they carried at the store.

It has disk drives by the dozen
it has twenty-seven mice,
and it even has a microwave
included in the price.

It can teach you how to mambo.
It can play the violin.
It can calculate the distance
from Botswana to Berlin.

It can speak in seven languages
with scholarly finesse,
then defeat the world's grandmasters
in a tournament of chess.

It can conjure anti-gravity,
or build a time machine.
Our computer is undoubtedly
the fastest ever seen.

When we went and bought it yesterday
we thought it pretty neat,
but today our new computer
is already obsolete.

Valentines Day Sms shayari

Valentines day Shayari

Asar dil per karay shikwa, shikayat ho to aisi ho.!
Galay lag kar koi roye, Nadamat ho to aisi ho.!
yehi mehsus ho jaisay kai sadiyan guzari hain
faqat ek pal ki furqat mein, Aziat ho to aisi ho,
muje kanta chubhay aur, us ki ankhon se lahu tapke,
taluq ho to aisa ho, MUHABAT ho to aisi ho
Happy Valentines Day

 

 Valentines day 140 Words Shayari

Hasil-E-Zindagii hasraton ke siva kuch b nahii
Ye kiya nahi, woh hua nahi, ye mila nahi, woh raha nahi
Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day 2 Liner

Socha aaj kuch teray siwaa sochoon,
Abhi tak isi soch me hun, k aur kia sochoon
Happy Valentines Day

 

Hindi Valanetine’s SMS

Bahut israar posheeda hain is tanha pasandi mein…
Ye mat samjho k dewaany jahan deeda nahe hoty….
Ta’ajub kya agar Iqbaål dunia hum sy na khush hai…
Buht sy log dunia mein pasandeeda nahe hoty
Happy Valentines Day

New year shayari poem sms

Happy New Year Poetry

Aye Barish Zara Tham Ke Baras
Jab Naya Sal Aa Jaye To Jam Ke Baras
Pahele Na Baras Ki Woh Aa Na Sake
Aane Ke Bad Itna Baras Ki Woh Ja Na Sake

New Year 2012 Shayari in Hindi

Mo Se Koe Insaan Juda Nhi Hota,
Duniya Me Her Koe Kuda Nhi Hota,
Waqt Or Mahol Insaan Ko Bura Bna Dete Hai,
Werna Pehle Se Insaan Bura Nhi Hota
Naya Saal Mubarak

Naya Saal Mubarak 2012 Shair o Shayari

Beet Gaya Jo Saal Bhul Jaayain,
Is Naye Saal Ko Gale Kagayai,
Harte Hai Duaa Hum Rab Se Sar Jhuka Ke ,
Naye Saal Ke Sare Sane Pure Ho Aapke,
Pure Dill Se Happy New Year 2012

New Year Poems in Urdu & Hindi

Sarson Da Saag
Makke Di Roti
Achhe Doston Ki Jodi Aur Shabhi Ka Pyar
Ye Naya Sal Tera
Khub Gujare Yaa

Happy New Year 2012 Hindi Shayri

Sada Dur Raho Gham Ki Parchaiyon Se
Samna Na Ho Kabhi Tanhayion Se
Har Arman Har Khwab Pura Ho Aapka
Yahi Dua Hai Dil Ki Gehraiyon Se

new shyari sms 140 word

Har Majburi Se
Ladna Sikh Lo..
Har Gum K Saath
Jeena Sikh Lo..
‘Busy’ Hum Bhi Kam Nahi.
Par Hamari Tarah
Dosto Ko Yaad Karna
Sikh Lo..!

.......................................................................
Khuda ne dost ko dost se milaya,Doston ke liye dosti ka rishta banaya,Par kehate hai dosti rahegi uski kayam,
Jisne dosti ko dilse nibhaya.

...................................................................................

Guzre Dino Ka Khayal Rakhna
Wafa Ki Matti Sambhal kar Rakhna
Aap Bhulado Mujhko To Koi Baat Nahi
Mera To Haq Hai Apko Her Dua Me Yaad Rakhna .

......................................................................................

Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi
Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi
Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi…….

......................................................................................

ज़मीन है न बोलती न आसमान बोलता,
जहान देखकर मुझे नहीं जबान खोलता,
नहीं जगह कहीं जहाँ न अजनबी गिना गया,
कहाँ-कहाँ न फिर चुका दिमाग-दिल टटोलता,
कहाँ मनुष्य है कि जो उमीद छोड़कर जिया,
इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि तुम मुझे पुकार लो

...........................................................................................
wada na karo agar nibha na sako
choho na use jise tu pa na sako
duniya me bahut dost hote hai
par ek khas dost rakho jiske bina tum muskara na sako.

.........................................................................................
na koi pal subha hai, na koi pal shham hai,
har pal har lamha aapki DOSTI ka naam hai,
ise sirf 1 SMS na samajhna,ye hamari Payari si dosti ka Salam hai.

..........................................................................................

Har Dhadkan me ye raj hota hai, Har yek bat batane ka yek nya andaj hota hai, Jab tak thokar na lage bewfa ki har ashiq ko apne pyar naj hota hai.

...............................................................................................
Be khudi ki zindgi hum jiya nahi karte, Jam chhin ke dusro ka piya nhi karte, Ye to dil aap pe aa gya miss “saku ji” warna hum ye dil kisi ko diya nhi kaete
...................................................................................................
Chaho to dil se hamko mitta dena
Chaho to humko bhula dena
Par Yeh wada karo ki aaye jo kabhi yaad hamari
To rona nahi Bus muskura dena…

.........................................................................................................

sab riste toot ke choor ho gaye
dhire dhire wo hum se door ho gaye
hamari khamosi hamare liye gunaah ban gayi
aur wo gunah kar ke be kasoor ho gaye

................................................................................................

Itna Khubsurat kese muskuralete ho…?
Itna Katil Kese Sharmalete Ho…..?
Bachpan Se kameene Ho …..?
Ya Shakal Ayisy banalete Ho …?

........................................................................................
Arzo hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye.

....................................................................................
isk ki tadap uthe to use mitya kaise jaye..
dil ke dard ko unhe sunaya kaise jaye..
wo sunkar bhi ansuna kar diye hume…
is dil me bni unki tasveer se unhe rubru kraya kaise jaye…..

arzoo

Teri arzoo main humne Baharon ko dekha,
Teri justaju main humne Sitaron ko dekha,
Nahi mila tum se badhkar in nigahon ko koi,
Humne jiske liye hazaron ko dekha..

aansoo

Meri aankhon main Ansu aaye na hote,
Wo humein dekh kar muskuraye na hote,
Sochti hun aksar tanhai may main,
Meri zindagi main kash wo aaye na hote,
Na tarapte hum unke liye itna,
Dil ne khawab unke sajaye na hote,
Naa toot kar bikharti main is kadar,
Kash wo mere dil main apna ghaar banaye na hote….

English poem

The old mill long had closed its doors
the rotting wheel would turn no more
no grain to grind, no country stores
where old men sat, told stories, swore…
And rocks that formed the waterfall
became the playground for us all
on summer days, it beckoned, called
beneath the old mill’s rotting walls….
The chill of water, mountain-fed
awakened spirits, long since dead
where millers’ children once were fed
on banks upon which lovers wed.
And yet i hear the echoes still
where laughter of the children filled
those rotting walls upon the hill
‘twas once the home to Freeman’s Mill….

When you fall in love

When You fall in Love with someone,
Don’t think just start enjoying it.
Because after some time.
You will not be in position to enjoy anything.

It takes only a minute

it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is more painful is to never have the courage to let that person know how you feel. Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone..

jaisay sooraj ki kiran

mein nay iss taur se chaha tujhe aksar janaan
jaisay mahtab ko be-ant samander chahay
jaisay sooraj ki kiran seep ke dil mai utray
jaisay khushbu ko hawa, rung se hut ker chahay
jaisay pathhar ke kalaijay se kiran phoot-ti hai
jaisay ghunchay khulay mausam se hina mangtay hein
jaisay khaaboan mai khayaloan ki kamaan toot-ti hai
jaisay barish ki dua aabla-pa mangtay hein
mera har khaab meray such ki gawahi de ga
wus?at-e-deed ne tujh se teri khaahish ki hai
meri sochoan mai kabhi dekh sarapa apna!
mai ne duniya se alag teri parastish ki hai
khaahis-e-deed ka mausam kabhi dhundla jo hua
noach daali hain zamanay ki naqabain mai ne
teri palkoan pay utarti hui subhoan k liye
toar daali hain sitaroan ki tanabain main ne
mai nay chaha keh teray husn ki gulnaar fiza
meri ghazlon ki qataron se mehekti jaey
mai ne chaha keh meray fun ke gulistaan ki bahaar
teri aankhoan ke gulaboan se mehekti jaye
tai to yeh tha keh sajata rahay lafzoan ke kanwal
meray khamosh khayaloan mai takallum tera
raqs kerta rahay, bharta rahay, khushbu ka khumaar
meri khaahish ke jazeeroan mein takallum tera
tu magar ajnabi mahol ki parwardah kiran
meri bujhti hoi ratoan ko sahar ker na saki
teri sansoan mai maseehai to thee laikin tu bhee
chara-e-zakhm-e-gham-e-deeda-e-tarr, ker na saki
tujh ko maloom hi kab hai keh kisi dard ka daagh
aankh se dil mein utar jaey to kya hota hai???
tu keh seemab tabiyat hai tujhe kya maloom
mausam-e-hijr theher jaey to kya hota hai
tu nay uss moar pay tora hai ta?alluq keh jahan
dekh sakta nahin koi bhee palat ker janaan
abb yeh aalam hai keh ankhain jo khulain gee apni
yaad aey ga teri deed ka manzar janaan
mujh se maangay ga teray ehd-e-mohobbat ka hisaab
teray hijraan ka dehekta hua mehshar janaan
yoon meray dil ke barabar tera gham aya hai
jaisay sheeshay ke maqabil koi pathhar janaan!!!
jaisay mahtaab ko be-ant samander chahay
mai ne iss taur se chaha tujhay aksar janaan!!!

Beautiful Eyes

This pair of small eyes,
Help in saying big things,
Love not expressed from lips,
Is confessed by a wink.
At any place in the world,
Her eyes keep searching for me,
Sparkle of her eyes is moved to her lips,
After she finds me.
Each feeling of her heart,
Is said by eyes of hers
Whenever I leave her,
Droplets of water stroll down in form of tears.
Can always find,
Unconditional love for me in her eyes,
Confirming the thought to be true,
That the pair never says lies.
I have a feeling,
She has a straight heart to eye connection,
As she expresses everything, by her eyes,
That?s needs to be mentioned.
When I can?t find her eyes around me,
Don?t know what happens to my day,
Smile from my visage,
Remains at bay.
In the night when I lie on a gathered hay,
Under the starry layer of the endless worlds,
I trace your eyes in the maze of stars,
Like a pattern laid out by two beautiful pearls.
This pair of small eyes,
Help in saying big things,
Love not expressed from lips,
Is confessed by a wink.

In search of peace

I saw the sun rise on the mountains high,
Its pale light gleaming in the sky.
Shining peaks with pearl white glow,
And melting of snow with a sigh.
I saw the sun set on the sea shore,
Heard the sea?s various pirates? lore.
Saw the ships sailing by,
With the flag on mast and the captain at door.
I saw various streams gurgling by,
With stones and pebbles as their ally.
Waiting to reach their ultimate goal,
With no fear and ready to die.
I saw the dunes: hot and dry,
Heard the fiery reputation they occupy.
Was out there in the scorching sun,
Running after a mirage with a heart-rending cry.
I saw the meadows on starry night,
Walked under the moon in twilight.
Saw the great bear on the pitch black sky,
Tried to understand the dark when all was quite.
I saw the rain soaking the field,
Black dark clouds forming the guild.
Saw the poor farmer?s smiling face,
In hope of a very good yield.
I saw everything in bloom and in decline,
But I didn?t find the peace divine.
At the very last I came back to my home,
There I found peace and a place that is surely mine.

Seasons In The Sun

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend.
We?ve known each other since we?re nine or ten.
Together we climbed hills or trees.
Learned of love and ABC?s,
skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
Goodbye my friend, it?s hard to die,
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Pretty girls are everywhere.
When you see them I?ll be there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the hills that we climbed
were just seasons out of time.
Goodbye, Papa, please pray for me,
I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
wonder how I get along.
Goodbye, Papa, it?s hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Little children everywhere.
When you see them I?ll be there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the wine and the song,
like the seasons, all have gone.
Goodbye, Michelle, my little one.
You gave me love and helped me find the sun.
And every time that I was down
you would always come around
and get my feet back on the ground.
Goodbye, Michelle, it?s hard to die
when all the bird are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
With the flowers ev?rywhere.
I wish that we could both be there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the stars we could reach
were just starfishs on the beach

FREEZING NIGHT

I was moving with a couple of thoughts
Straight to the market with steady trots
Hustle bustle of the market shaked my head
To bring a doll, that she loved the best
Or was it a hat, on which she protest
I was moving with a couple of thoughts
Straight to the market with steady trots
My wife asked for flowers with buds newborn
To look beautiful she wants herself to adorn
Oh ya ! i had to take medicine for my father
He must be waiting for me rather
I was moving and moving in a shimmering night
To fulfil my daughter?s plight
Further was waiting for me a mishap
There was a BLAST when i openend the flap
I was moving and moved so far
My friends and family now looks me in a star
My daughter still waiting holding my pic so tight
Still on the terrace on that freezing night?

Light and Dance

Light dancing through the window
wakes me up to another day?
to be passed in full consciousness
of the seconds the minutes the hours?
the day?sublime.
I learn helplessness, I lose productivity,
the consciousness of the ticking clock gulps me.
I forget what is timeless,
what is the color of the day;
the only things I produce
are digestive enzymes and semen.
Even the thoughts have turned into reminiscence.
I welcome the night.
The night that escapes the day
and put me to sleep, not beyond clockwork
as the hourly gongs pierce my skull,
the appreciation of the morning alarm
increases as the night draws close.
But the minutes and the seconds dance
in the production house of my dreams.
I travel in a train
sitting beside my pretty child,
my sweet one, I hold her hand
and come down innumerable steps.
In dreams we hold hands in the crowd.
We dance like fireflies
we dance till the last muscle burn out
and she falls down before me,
I?m still strong and young,
I carry her in my arms
to a place where we can fly.
But I must fly alone.
This poem starts the countdown
from 30, and I?ll be gone
leaving behind the hatred for the day
and submission into the night
my pretty child, my sweet one.
The hourly gongs sometimes startles
me in the morning I?m just awake
shaking dreams from my hair
writing the poem.

Grand Mother?s Hand

My Grandmother?s Hands they are very nice
The hands which spank my butt only twice
Those hands that are so simple
Those hands which made my tears trickle
Hands which are powerful and strong
Those hands which have taught me right from wrong
Hands like I hadn?t seen before
Hands which are not needed anymore
Her voice is all that now needs to be heard
Because I have come to trust Grandmother?s word!!!

DECEIVING LIFE

Driven by constant hope
We live each moment of our life
We are taught to dig out the scope
And never to let ourselves down with strife.
We believe it going to get better
We feel that fate can nvr be that cruel
But then at the end of the day?s clutter
We realise it was nothing but a cold, messy gruel
Like the generations before us
We were deceived
It was like a bus we never caught
Something denied after an ever-lasting wait
When u turn to the last page of likfe
You realise there was nothing miraculous in there
It was a long drama of misery
With intermissions of happiness?
-a dejected soul
pls pen down ur comments guys

Friendship

Friendship burgeons out of nowhere
Right from the time we are born , we are daubed and caught unaware
As we grow, we live on to take friendship to higher levels
At the age of 3, we go by our friends? dresses and the colour of their towels
By class four,it more on the care and attention given
And not so much on the character, by which the choosing is driven
As we grow older, we check if our characters match
And also scan our likes and dislikes right from the scratch
But once we step into adolescence
It?s all new world of views and conceptions
When we were small we needed reassurance, ?You are my best buddy?
But now mere words are not required for a friendship this profound and sturdy
As days go by, silence means more than words
Tears are sweeter than smile , voice lovelier than the song of any bird
Then gradually you begin to take them for granted
You are hurt at the absence of a word, a gesture, u feel stranded
And suddenly when you had thought that they were going to be with you forever
They walk away into oblivion leaving you a shock and tremor
Before you could reveal what you feel
Everything comes to a halt and you are left to revisit those memories as in a reel
Friendship is as beautiful as a winter morning
And even when the snow melts, it still reveals more and leaves you yearning
But end is invariable for all
And those sweet moments will continue to augment in every rise and fall

WiThOuT Me!

I?ve dreamed many dreams that never came true,
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I?m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn?t cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn?t get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you?ll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I?d have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I?d always thought,
I didn?t want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
The thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I?d say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven?s gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, ?This is eternity,
And all I?ve promised you.?
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day?s the same way
There?s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn?t do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you?re free.
So won?t you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without

forgotten dream

the other day, while fencing my heart,
i chanced upon an impossible dream,
it rose, in beauty, on feet of hope
and embraced a teardrop out of me?
with hurried steps i rushed away,
to find my mask, my book of sense.
to invalidate my yesterday.
then turned to build my trusted fence.
there it lies unto this day,
un-nurtured, neglected, growing still,
i hoped it gone, wished it away,
but there it stays against my will.
i leave it at the gallows, pronounce it dead,
but come event of tender mind,
i look back and find it there.
only a few steps behind?
beguilingly tangible? agonizingly beautiful?
mercilessly invisible to all but me.

Father?s Day ? A Day of Celebration to Honor

My dear father,
I too would like to give you praise,
Though a day of celebration,
Is never enough to compensate,
Is never enough to appreciate,
Is never enough to congratulate,
The man who?s life to me still dedicate.

Spread you arms

Like the scarlet that spreads through the dark sky;
Like the trembling notes that spread through the hall;
Like the shinning pebbles that spread through the depth of the mighty river, wet.
Like the angry voice that spreads
And the famished hearts quicken,
Spread your arms.
And when you touch the flame
Grimace, but do not fold them back over you breasts.
Between you and the earth beneath your feet
The trampled grass knows -
When there is nothing left to burn,
You set fire to yourself.

fall in love

have yu eva felt dt u r lonely in crowds??
hv u eva heard sm1 callin yur name n found no1 aroun??
hv u eva feared ov ur most beloved thng??
hv u eva saw yur eyez rollin down a tear wile odaz laufin??
hv u eva got paralyzed by d thoughts ov sm1??
hv u eva had a weakness dt cudn b explained??
hv u eva felt lyk sm1 z stranglin yur heart??
hv u eva felt unimportant n useless??
hv u eva crushed yur dreamz by ur vry hands??
hv u eva fel down beside d wal like a disabled widout crutches??
hv u eva felt happier in d dark though u afraid ov it??
hv u eva cursed yur memories??
hv u eva left unanswered by ur own questionz??
hv u eva wokeup whole nyt juz in curiosity??
hv u eva cried wile watchn sunset??
NO???????
TRY TO FALL IN LOVE N U IL GET TO KNOW???

hammer 2 d walls

u tuk d hammer 2 d walls..
dragged d memories down de hall..
packed ur bag n walk away..
thr ws nth i cud say..
n wen u closed d front door shut..
alot ov odaz opened up..
so my eyes n i cud c..
u were neva d best 4 me..

First Day At School

First Day At School
In a little village in Kerala
I awoke with a lot of hungama
I heard the rain like crumpling bits of paper
And I knew the dreaded day had finally arrived
Here the rain and the school arrives side by side
Causing waves of sadness to hit me as on seaside
The grass and the leaves are fresher than ever
But my mother drags me into the shower
I yearn to smell my new rose blushing in the rain
But the new uniform assails my nose putting my wish in vain
My shivering puppy longs for the warmth of my hand
But the umbrella and now-filled bag lands in my hands
Blurry vision of the world that I view
And my little garden with everything so fresh and new
Causes tears to rush down my cheeks
Which are washed away by the rain so gentle or may be meek
I enter my new world, my second home, world of letters all sad and confused
And my mom pulls my hand off hers with emotions diffused
I cry, ?Oh Mama don?t leave me here!Take me with u..?
But she leaves without turning back ,tears fresh and new?

I wish to be friend

I wish to be that friend of yours.
to whom you can turn whenever you are cross.
I wish to stand like a tree and bear all the pain,
to give you shade and to prevent you from rain.
I wish to be the wood and to be burnt into flame,
to give you light and to spread your fame.
I wish to be shoulder and to be on your side,
to prevent you from stumbling and to help you to guide.
I wish to be with you on every turn of your life,
and i hope to hear you say that you want me throughout your life.

The Breakup

A state of limbo
The calm before the storm
Eyes dry still
Expecting the worst
The forever leaping heart
The battle of wills
No looking back?..
Nostalgia- what?s that?
Just boredom that kills
The endless waiting
The relief of a goodbye
Regrets??

Spells Of Thinking

Staring at the moon at night, so bright,
An emotion came over me last night?
Bringing all of my thoughts to you,
I thought our love is growing true..
When I closed my eyes yester night,
All my sorrows & worries took flight?
Endless thoughts ran through my head,
& the talks we had while lying on bed..
Without U life wud mean nothing 2 me,
Oh forever with you, I want to be?
Words can?t explain how much I love you,
You bring me smiles, overcome my blue..
Thinking of U constantly makes me smile,
I can?t forget U, oh not for even a while?
You?ve no idea what I?ve recieved from you,
The only person I want2 spend my life is wid U..
I love you Sweetie, with all my heart,
I know never in our lives we?ll be apart?

The unspoken

Won?t you wipe my tears tonight?
Won?t you help me spend this night?
If I tell you whats in my heart,
Won?t you really hug me tight?
Won?t you hold me if I fall?
Won?t you answer if I call?
If I tell you you?re my life,
Won?t you really care at all?
Won?t you help me pass the trials?
Won?t you cover miles after miles?
If I tell you the desperation of wanting you,
Won?t you turn my tears into smiles?
Won?t you feel my pain anymore?
Won?t you miss me like did before?
If I tell you you?re my soul,
Won?t you make the time restore?
Won?t you listen my heart?s cry?
Won?t you let my eyes dry?
If I tell you?re my only love,
Won?t you even love me just as reply?

My Eternal Affection

That was a noiseless, sorrowful night,
Filled with fear & feeling of fright.
Heart was isolated & I was alone,
With no one there ho was known.
To accompany me in this lonely night,
Just silent darkness & nothing bright.
No one was there with me to ask,
Or to remove my cheerful mask.
Tired of drowning in my own tears,
fighting against my loneliness & fears.
I missed you so much day & night,
& just thought I treated you right.
Just want you to return, help my spirit fly,
Your face being the last, I see before I die.

In Your Arms

When you take me in your arms,
The world pauses it?s senseless spin,
The skies no longer seem too far away,
I float on a cloud, and swim about
In the most vast sea of joy?
You fill me so with love within,
No dream?s too far away?
When I can feel the warmth of your breath,
When I can lay my head on your chest,
All I know of is us, and of our love,
All the rest creeps into oblivion.
Drowned I remain in an unruffled ocean,
Protected like a pearl in its shell.

Dreams Come True

In your arms
Let me be held,
Held captive by your charms,
And let the world behold
How two souls meld,
How they come true ~
The fairytales oft told?
In the way the moon
Disappears in the clouds,
And reappears with a blush,
Let?s disappear in a mist,
Away from the crowds,
In a secretive hush,
And let me return? kissed!
Is this my reality, is this a dream?
I may keep asking myself this.
And pinch my cheeks, softly,
And hold me, and hug me, and kiss.
And I shall know that there is YOU?
And I shall know that dreams come true?

I FOUND YOU

Love can be,
found in the wormth of a kiss,in a touch
or a lingering embrace?.
Love can be
found in a sweet,tender glance or a
smile that laughts up the face?
Love can be
found in words softly spoken,in
comfertable silence too?.
Love can be
found in any number of ways?
And I FOUND LOVE
when?..

Around the corner I have a friend

Around the corner I have a friend
In this great city that has no end.
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on
And before i know it, a year is gone.
And i never see my old friend?s face
For life is a swift and terrible race.
He knows i like him just as well
As in the days when i rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we?re younger then
And now we?re busy tired men.
Tired of playing fulish game
Tired of trying to make a name.
Tommorow i say i?ll call on him
Just to show that i m thinking of him.
But tommorow comes and tommorow goes
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner yet miles away
Here is a telegram he is died today
And that is what we get and deserve in the end
Around the corner a vanished friend.

Main us ki aahatain chun loo

Main us ki aahatain chun loon, Main us se bol kar dekhoon,
Gali mein kon phirta hai, Dareecha khol kar dekhoon,
Yoon hi shayed tasalli ho meri hastaa mizaaji ki,
Main apni khaak hi koye hunar mein rol kar dekhoon,
Na woh awaargi mujh mein, Na woh aashqui mujh mein,
Main kis meyaar pe apni wafaa ko tol kar dekhoon..

Behky behky hooye andaz-e-byan hoty hain

Behky behky hooye andaz-e-byan hoty hain
Ap hoty hain to phir hosh kahan hoty hain
Hont paband hain mafoom byan hoty hain
Koi samjhy to ye Aansu bhi zuban hoty hain
Yaad hai teri nigahon ka badalna mujh ko
Aisy andaz qyamat mein kahan hoty hain
Kyun shab-e-gham na jalaoon teri yaadon k chiragh
Un sy roshan meri manzil k nishan hoty hain
Gham hai baqi to kisi roz khushi bhi ho gi
Phool bhi khaak k pehlu mein jawan hote hain..

Muddat se jis k waastey dil beqarar tha

Muddat se jis k waastey dil beqarar tha,
Wo lout kr na aaya magr intzaar tha,
Jo humsafar tha chhor gaya raah main mujhe,
Mai phas gaya bhanwar main or wo darya k paar tha,
Manzil qareeb aai to tum door ho gaye,
Itna tou tum batao k ye kaisa pyar tha? ?
Deewar bana di ye kis ne dono k darmyan,
Na wo sukon se betha na mujhko qarar tha,
Ye baat umer bhar samajh na paya
Kiun dil mera us wafadr ka talbgaar tha..!

Ek Mohabat Hai Aur Uski Ek Nishani Hai

Ek Mohabat Hai OR Uski Ek Nishani Hai
 Ek Dil Hai Jese Koi Haweli Purani Hai
Safar Raat Ka Hai OR Raat Bi Tufani Hai
 Samandr Hi Samandr Hai Kashti Bi Doob Jani Hai
Ibteda-e-Ishq Se Inteha-e-Ishq Tak
Main Hi Tha Bewafa OR Mainne Hi Wafa Nibhani Hai
Main Loot aya Hoon Manzil Ko Dekh kar
Yahan To Yadon ki Verani Hi Verani Hai
Ye Intzar Khatam Q Nahi Hota Kis Se Puchhoon
Kya koi manzil mera muqadar hai Ya yehi meri adhori kahani hai?

Tanha hai meri zaat kaheen se ajao

Tanha hai meri zaat kaheen se ajao,
Sun lo meri baat kaheen se ajao,
Dushman bazi jeet raha hai chupke se,
Hone ko hai maat kaheen se ajao,
Kachi entain our imarat garey ki,
Our us per barsat kaheen se ajao,
Dil ki basti per hai khof andheron ka,
Ho jaey na raat kaheen se ajao,
Kachi umerain us per khowab mohabat ke,
Kiya kiya hain jazbat kaheen se ajao,
Ankhen rasta dekh rahi hain mudat se,
gardish main hain halat kaheen se ajao,
Mosam mosam log badaltey hain
Dil pe r hain sadmat kaheen se ajao….

Chahat teri chhupa ke jiye ja rahi hun main

Chahat teri chhupa ke jiye ja rahi hun main,
khud ko hasin fareb diye ja rahi hun main,
tu bewafa hai phir bhi mera honsla to dekh,
tujh pe wafa nisar kiye ja rahi hun main,
bharke tere daman mai musarrat ki kahkashan,
saugat aansuo ki liye ja rahi hun main,
ruswa na ho jaye tu is jahan mai isliye,
honto ko apne khud hi siye ja rahi hun main,
murat teri tarash kar poojungi isliye,
pathar teri gali ka ek liye ja rahi hun main…

Yad karke mujhe taklif he hoti hogi

Yad karke mujhe taklif he hoti hogi,
Aik qisa hoon purana sa bhula de mujhko.
Doobte doobte awaz teri sun jaun.
Akhri baar tu sahil se sada de mujhko.
Main tere hijr main chup chaap na mar jaun kahin.
Main hoon sakte main kabhi aake rula de mujhko.
Dekh main hogaya badnam kitabon ki tarah.
meri tasheer na kar ab tu jala de mujhko.
Roothna tera meri jaan lie jata hai.
Aese naraz na ho haske dikhade mujhko.
Aur kuch bhi nahi manga mere malik tujhse.
Uski galion main pari khak banade mujhko.
Log kehte hain ke ye ishq nigal jata hai.
Main bhi is ishq mani aya hun, dua de mujhko.
Yahi oqat hai meri tere jeevan main ke main.
Koi kamzor sa lamha hun. bhulade mujhko.

Main tumharay aks ki aarzoo mein bass aayina hi bani rahi

Main tumharay aks ki aarzoo mein bass aayina hi bani rahi
Kabhi tum na samnay aa sakay, kabhi mujh pay gard pari rahi
Woh ajeeb shaam thi,aaj tak meray dil mein uss ka malal hai
Meri tarah jo teri muntazir, teray rastay mein khari rahi
Kabhi waqf-e-hijr main ho gaei,kabhi khwab-e-wasl mein kho gaei
Main faqeer-e-ishq bani rahi, main aseer-e-yaad huwi rahi
Bari khamshi say sarak kay phir meray dil kay gird lipat gaei
Woh rida-e-abr-e-sfed jo sar-e-kohsar tani rahi
Hue uss say jabb meri baat bhi,thi shareek-e-dard woh zaat bhi
Toh na janay kon c cheez ki meri zindgi mein kami rahi?

Kuch aur seenay ko laal kar

Main bikhra howa hon jaga jaga mujh sai koe na tu sawal kar
Meri kirchiyan hain chahar soo inn pai rakh tu paon sambhal kar
Koe zakham ore na dai mujhay main hazar tookron main hon para
Meray jism-o-jaan k hijaab ko na apnay haathon paamal kar
Main rang-e-duniyan main thha bassa jab teri husti sai dooor thha
Yun smait lee main nay zindagi teray aik gham ko paal kar
Meray hum nafas mujhay dai saza teray payar main hon mubtila
Kochh teer dil per tu chala kochh ore seenay ko laal kar
Kabhi rasm-e-ulfat bhe tu nibah koe muskuraaiy tau muskura
Kabhi gham zadon ke khabar bhe laiy ashaq aphni ankhon main daal kar
Meray paishwar meray hum sufer dooor ja na mujh ko chhor kar
Main bhattuk raha hon idher udher mujhay ore tu na bay haal kar
Rehay charagar shaukat judda yunhi umer beeti khafa khafa
Ye rabt-e-ulfat ka khail thha na dil ko apnay nidhaal kar.......

Tumhaare Ishq Mein Sab kuch Tabah Kar Loongaa

Dil-o-Dimaag ko Ro Loongaa Aah Kar Loongaa
Tumhaare Ishq Mein Sab kuch Tabah Kar Loongaa,
Agar Mujhe Na Milein Tum Tumhaare Sar ki Qasam
Main Apni Saari Jawaani Tabaah Kar Loongaa,
Mujhe Jo Dair-o-Haram Mein kaheen Jagah Na Mili
Tere Khiyaal Hi ko Sajdaagaah Kar Loongaa,
Jo Tum Se kar Diyaa Mehroom Aasmaan Ne Mujhe
Main Apani Zindagi Sarf-e-Gunaah Kar Loongaa,
Raqeeb Se Bhi Milongaa Tumhaare Hukm Pe Main
Jo Ab Talak Na kiyaa Thaa Ab Aah Kar Loongaa,
Tumhaari Yaad Mein Main kaat Doongaa Hashr K Din
Tumhaare Hijr Mein Raaten Siyaah kar Loonga,
Hareem-e-Hazrat-e-Salamaa ki Simt Jaataa Hoon
Howa Na zabt To Chupake Se Aah Kar Loongaa,
Yeh Naubahaar Yeh Abr-o-Hawaa Yeh Rang-e-Sharaab
Chalo Jo Ho So Ho Ab To Gunaah Kar Loongaa,
kisi Haseenaa Kay Masoom Ishq Mein “Akhtar”
Jawaani kiya Hai Main sab kuch Tabah Kar Loongaa.

Tere Maathay Pe Jab Tak Bal Raha Hai..

Tere Maathay Pe Jab Tak Bal Raha Hai
Ujaala Aankh Se Oojhal Raha Hai
Samaatay Kia Nazar Mein Chaand Taaray ?
Tasawwur Mein Tera Aanchal Raha Hai
Teri Shaan-e-Taghaaful Ko Khabar Kia ?
Koi Tere Lye Be-Kal Raha Hai
Shikaayat Hai Gham-e-Dauraan Ko Mujh Se
Ke Dil Mein Kiun Tera Gham Pal Raha Hai ?
Taajub Hai Sitam Ki Aandhion Mein
Charaagh-e-Dil Abhi Tak Jal Raha Hai
Lahoo Royein Gi Magrib Ki Fizaayein
Badi Tezi Se Sooraj Dhal Raha Hai
Zamaana Thak Gaya, Jaalib Hee Tanha
Wafaa Ke Raastay Pe Chal Raha Hai

Ik Yehi Roshni Imkaan Mein Hai

Ik Yehi Roshni Imkaan Mein Hai
TU Abhi Tak Dil-e-Veeran Mein Hai
Shor Barpa Hai Teri Yaadon Ka
Ronaq-e-Hijr Bayabaan Mein Hai
Pyaar Aur Zindagi Se Lagta Hai
Koi Zinda Dil Be-Jaan Mein Hai
Aaj Bhi Tere Badan Ki Khushbu
Tere Bhaijay Howay Guldaan Mein Hai
Zindagi Bhi Hai Meri Aankhon Mein
Mout Bhee Deeda-e-Hairaan Mein Hai
Dil Abhi Niklaa Nahi Seenay Se
Ik Qaidi Abhi Zindaan Mein Hai

Zara Udas hun Lekin Zara Masroor bhi hun

Zara Udas hun Lekin Zara Masroor bhi hun
Tumhare paas hun shayad, shayad Door bhi hun
Yun Pathreele Raston Pe Chalna Shoq nehi Mera
Kuch Muaamla Chahat ka he Kuch Majboor bhi hun
Mohabbat Ho Gai Tum se, Bus itni Khata he Meri
Maana k Mujrim hun magar Be-qasoor bhi hun…

Zamanay se nahi darta, Zamanay ko bata do tum

Zamanay se nahi darta, Zamanay ko bata do tum,
Mohabbat naam hai mera, Zamanay ko bata do tum,
Dikhayi bhi nahi deta, kisi insaan ki aankho ko,
Judayi zakhm hai aisa, Zamanay ko bata do tum,
Najanay kyu Khatakta hu, mai ab un ki nigaho mai,
Mai thukrata hu ye dunya, Zamanay ko bata do tum,
Jala daalu ga teri bewafaa basti ki galiyo ko,
Mai hu ik aag ka darya, Zamanay ko bata do tum,
Abhi to waqt un ka hai, rula ley jee bhar ke,
Hamara waqt bhi aaye ga, Zamanay ko bata do tum...........

Saaray Dard Nazar Aayein Ge Ghar Se Bahir

Saaray Dard Nazar Aayein Ge Ghar Se Baahir
Jis Din Mein Nikloon Ga Pas-e-Manzar Se Baahir
Laakh Samaitay Rakhun Per Jaanay Anjaanay
Ho Jaatay Hain Paaon Mere Chaadar Se Baahir
Kub Se Hain Ankhiaan Tere Darshan Ki Pyaasi
Darsh Dikha De Aa Bhi Ja Pathar Se Baahir
Phele Jis Ki Aankh Nishaanay Per Thi Mere
Ab Wo Chirya Bhi Hai Had-e-Nazar Se Baahir
Aaj Bhi Mein Khul Kar Sach Bol Nahi Sakta Hun
Ab Bhi Nahi Hun Os Ke Hisaar-e-Shar Se Baahir
Jisko Mein Ne Sadi Ka Roop Dia Tha Azar
Ab Wo Lamha Bhi Hai Mere Asar Se Baahir......

Kabhi qurbat ke lamhon main thhikana bhool jatay hain

Kabhi qurbat ke lamhon main thhikana bhool jatay hain
Kabhi furqat ka teri hum fasaana bhool jatay hain
Sitam hay ye mohabat main tum jisko isqadar chaho
Oosi ke aarzo main hum zamana bhool jatay hain
Chhupa kar baithh jatay hain naseebon ka diya zaiwer
Kabhi tujhko kabhi khud ko dikhana bhool jatay hain
Bas apni zaat main kho kar apna he ziker karna
Kisi doojay ka koe gham othhana bhool jatay hain
Ser-e-mehraab jaltay hon chiragh-e-gham andhairon main
Hum apnay aansowon ko phir dabana bhool jatay hain
Shroo jo ho wafa k naam per hum aisay rishtay ko
Khatam karkay wafa’on ka zamana bhool jatay hain
Tumhari aarzo main hum hooway roswa zamanay main
Ye marg-e-jaan say pehlay batana bhool jatay hain
Shaukat yaad rakhtay hain hum apnay dil ke halat ko
Magar apni khata’on ko dikhana bhool jatay hain

Relationship Joke

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Blonde paint job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Generous lawyer

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Girls night out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Glad to be drunk

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Only three doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'

Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

The bride tells her husband

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Two zebras pondering

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

From A Mother With Love

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Birds and Bees joke

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

Dead Pussy joke

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.