Laughing time !!

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
***
Ek ladki apny boy friend k sath nai car main long drive par ja rahi thi achanak ladki kehnay lagi, “suno ! kya tum ek haath se garri chala saktay ho ?”
“Kyun nahi” ,ladkay ne baday fakher se kaha.
Ladki ne aahista se kaha, “to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo.”
***
Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.
***
Raat ko sohar aur biwi soo rahe they. Ek dam se biwi ko sohar ki awaaz aayi, biwi uth kar sohar se poocha, “kya baat hai?”
Sohar ne bataaya, “ke meri kameez zameen par gir pari thi”
Biwi ne kaha ke, “toh itna shor kyun machaya”
Sohar bola, “ke uss kameez mein main bhi tha!!!”
***
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Banta : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?
***
Banta at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Banta says - "Baljith Singh Married"
 ***
Prince Charles & Banta were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Banta thinks "how poetic"
Babta says, "pass the custard you bastard".
***
Rina : I see all time a sign board near a school “ drive slow ur car “
But at the place of any girls college it’s never seen
Vipul : every one know that each and every car pass slowly automatic.
***
I saw an advertisement for a school that claimed it could teach anyone to drive a car in five minutes or less. I called them up and asked "How can you teach anyone to drive in five minutes or less?"
They answered "It's a crash course."
***
A MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE. SUDDENLY YAMARAJ APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS."

HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED.


ON THE WAY TO HEAVEN IS THE HELL....SAW YAMARAJ WHISTLING N RELAXING. HE ASKED YAMRAJ, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME.





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"SORRY SON, Appraisal time, HAD TO ACHIEVE TARGET..."
***
Railway me job hai...

karoge ?

salary 35,0000


per month

job details :

Rajdhani exp ki head light karab ho gayi hai torch lekar aage aage bhagna hai.
  ***

The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file. After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath. The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.
The clerk replies, \'Boss when I went to the lift it said \'during an emergency please use the staircase\'!!! 
***

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.